I Am Begging You to Start Styling Instead of Shopping
“Oh! So Indyx is kinda like Stitch Fix!”
I’ll nod my head and smile, and say “oh yeah, kind of!”. But internally, I cringe. It’s some of the most common feedback I get when I first tell someone about Indyx. And hey, you could very reasonably argue that if this isn’t the reaction I want then I need to change my pitch. Noted.
But I think this reaction also says a lot about where our collective heads are at right now when it comes to how we approach fashion and style - and, where we’re making a big mistake.
We’ve reached a point where styling and shopping have become one and the same. To the point where, you might be reading this thinking to yourself….”what is she even talking about!? They’re the same thing”.
And I can’t blame you! It’s all because of the way the fashion industry is built. 99.9% of business models in fashion depend on selling stuff. Ideally, lots and lots of stuff, season after season. And so, there is a deeply ingrained incentive in fashion to make you believe that the best and fastest way to actualize all your style aspirations is to simply keep buying more and more stuff.
That this is the “essential” sweater of the season. This is the blazer that will fix all your problems. And these are the pants that will make you look skinny AND allow you to reach style nirvana.
Shopping is presented as the solution, but it’s just a big distraction. The best solution is so often the simplest one and we’ve been bamboozled into forgetting that the real solution to style is….well, styling!
As we’ve written about before, we all shop for items but live life in outfits - and styling is all about that critical translation.
Shopping is about curating a collection of things.
Style is how all those things (that anyone could buy!) come together to express you as an individual.
So if you’re only thinking about shopping, then you’re only thinking about a small piece of the bigger picture. And I think it’s where a lot of people get totally stuck in a doom loop trying and then inevitably failing to find and develop their style.
This confusion has probably existed at least since the inception of the fashion industry as we know it today, but Stitch Fix and the explosion of other “style boxes” in the 2010s really kicked it into ultra high gear.
After all, they have dumped billions of dollars into marketing themselves as a “personal styling service”, where your “stylist” gets to know you so they can…send you five items from inventory in a box to your doorstep. You might get a “style card” where those items are conveniently shown in an outfit with…other items that Stitch Fix would love to sell you. If you’re lucky, then maybe they’re shown outfitted with other items that Stitch Fix has already sold to you.
But as for all the other stuff already sitting in your closet? Good luck! You’re on your own. And does Stitch Fix care if you actually wear the items they sell to you? Not really. As long as they can keep on convincing you that the next thing they want to sell you will change your life, it’s all the same to them.
This isn’t (necessarily) intended as a Stitch Fix takedown. I’d be pleased as punch if Indyx can achieve a fraction of the success that Stitch Fix has and they obviously provide a service that many people enjoy! But that service isn’t personal styling, it’s personal shopping. And that incorrect association has stuck in many, many people’s minds.
“Okay, so Stitch Fix is technically personal shopping and Devon hates being compared to them. She can get over herself. Why do I care?”
I earnestly think you should care because really internalizing the difference between shopping and styling (and, starting to focus more on the latter than the former!) fundamentally changes your mindset towards fashion for the better.
I speak from personal experience: you’ll get much farther this way. And, here’s why:
You tend to shop for your fantasy self, but styling is for the real you
We all have a “fantasy self”. The one who actually loves wearing heels. The one who gets dressed and goes out for drinks with friends on Friday night rather than collapsing on the couch in her pajamas with a glass of wine. The one who shows up to work in a perfectly crisp shirt and impeccably tailored trousers because *she* is dressing for the job she wants!
In short: she’s typically 50% fancier and 100% more willing to put up with impractical fashion choices than the real you.
And, unless the therapy is really working, she tends to be prettier, skinnier, and cooler than how you really perceive yourself to be.
It’s super common to end up shopping for your fantasy self, because you’re subconsciously hoping that if you just fill your closet with the clothes that this imaginary girl would wear, you’ll magically become her.
But the real you thinks heels are incredibly uncomfortable. The real you just doesn’t need any more flirty out-for-drinks dresses. And, the real you finds that a crisp button up shirt feels far too stuffy and formal for your more laid-back personality.
And so, if you’re depending on shopping as your primary tool to improve your style then you’re at major risk of continuing to mistakenly invest in your “fantasy self”. Sure, you may love the things your personal shopper chooses for you all styled together in a slick little lookbook. But as soon as they exist IRL in your closet you just don’t reach for them. They don’t feel like you. Whoops! Another expensive mistake.
Styling from your closet first short circuits this dynamic.
The outcome of shopping is to fill your closet with new things you might wear and therefore might make you more “stylish”. But the outcome of styling is to discover outfits that make you feel more comfortable and confident in your own skin.
Styling is a process of experimentation and critical thinking that makes your closet work better for you. The real you. And that’s true whether you’re practicing styling on your own or with the help of a professional stylist.
And if you don’t end up actually wearing those newly styled outfits? Well, that’s a super fast feedback loop about your personal style that you can immediately analyze and learn from without having plunked down hundreds or thousands of dollars on new stuff.
You already have much more than you think
You bought the items in your closet for a reason. You liked them! Sure, maybe some you bought for your fantasy self, but that doesn’t automatically mean they’re completely unworkable mistakes.
Some “stylists” or personal shoppers might tell you differently. That it’s best to just start from scratch. I hate to sound like a tin-hat conspiracy theorist…but I really believe that in any situation you have to examine the incentives to understand what’s going on.
First, remember that nearly all personal shoppers stand to gain from you buying stuff. Whether it be a direct commission or (in the case of Stitch Fix, for example) a better metrics scorecard that may result in a bonus or promotion.
Second, shopping has been pushed as the solution in part by technological necessity. Before a tool like Indyx existed, it was impossible for digital stylists and inconvenient for in-person stylists to work with your existing closet. They couldn’t see it! And so, rather than bother with the perfectly fine jeans you already have, it was simply easier for them to sell you a new pair and copy/paste the pretty product image into your Google Slides lookbook.
The problem usually isn’t that the jeans you have are bad or wrong. The problem is that you don’t know how to wear them! You have a few ideas of how to outfit them, but those specific ideas don’t pull off the full picture of how you want to present yourself. You’re frustrated because you were only sold half of the puzzle. The what but nothing about the how.
As an aside: this is why cataloging your closet on the app is *such* a critical step before getting styled with us. We know it’s a bit of a PITA. But, check out our cataloging tips to make the process as painless as possible. Or, book a cataloging appointment and let us take care of it all for you!
And sure, you might also benefit from a few new pieces to make what you already have more versatile and more expressive of your style. But you simply don’t need a closet full of new clothes in order to dress better than you do today. Shopping is an entirely optional side quest within the larger world of styling.
The practice of styling empowers you to be your best stylist
In fact, buying a bunch of new stuff will probably leave you in exactly the same place in just a few short months: with a closet full of (brand new! expensive!) clothes and no idea how to wear them. Or at least, no clue how to wear them with anything else that you didn’t also buy from that personal shopper. Even if you like the items themselves, you’ll still feel very ‘stuck’ in your wardrobe.
In other words: shopping (especially for your fantasy self!) tends to just create new problems. Styling exists to solve those problems.
And over time, the process of styling your closet instead of defaulting to shopping is the thing that *actually* improves your style so you can consistently express yourself the way you want with clothes. It gives you the self-insight needed to really find your personal style and trains the critical thinking that makes you better and better at styling your own outfits…and, ironically, better at shopping, too!
If you’re practicing the principles of styling on your own - well, the benefit of that practice is obvious. It’s the practice that makes perfect.
But engaging a personal stylist for help can actually speed up this learning process. A personal stylist gives you another pair of eyes, another perspective on who you are and how you present yourself. They can give insight into how a trained eye thinks about putting things together, balancing color, texture, silhouette, and vibe. They can give you an “ah-ha” moment about how to pair your things together in an unexpected way that makes the total outfit feel completely your style.
If you’ve ever watched a stylist on social media like Kenzie or Allison Bornstein then you already know what I mean in terms of the larger “ah-ha” moments they can deliver. Now just imagine how much more helpful it would be to hear those type of insights applied specifically to your own wardrobe and unique personal style!
Working with a personal stylist is well worth it (in my opinion, obviously) for the immediate output of styled outfits on its own. But tenfold the value comes in what you pick up from them to become a better stylist for yourself. Teach a man to fish, and all that jazz.
It’s better for the planet and your wallet
If all of this wasn’t reason enough, styling over shopping is hands down more sustainable for the planet and your wallet.
There’s tons of chatter about whether X brand or Y brand is “sustainable”, but by far the most sustainable thing you can do is simply wear the clothes you already have. And that doesn’t have to be boring! Styling helps you get *so* much more style out of your closet, in ways you may not have ever imagined on your own.
And you can get styled without spending a single dime on new clothes! This is obviously not at all the case with shopping, no matter how cheap fast fashion has become.
It can be a big mindset shift to spend money on styling as a service rather than a tangible good you can hold in your hands (and, stash in your closet). That’s one of the biggest objections we hear to our styling services: “why wouldn’t I just spend that same money on a new item that I can wear over-and-over”.
The thing is…are you wearing it over and over? And, you’ve bought lots of new items before…yet, you’re still super confused about your personal style and what to wear?
We’ve all heard the quote that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results. I know our little lizard brain just biologically loves to collect shiny objects. But we’ve tried it before. And if we’re still collectively this unhappy with our closets and our style then I am begging us all to try something different.
Learn more about what makes Indyx personal styling different and and the services you can choose from
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A personal shopper is someone who goes shopping for you, recommending items for you to buy based on your stated preferences. A personal stylist can do everything a personal shopper does - and much, much more! A personal stylist can also help you articulate your personal style and translate that vision into the reality of what you wear day-to-day. They can help you curate your closet, shop for new pieces, and integrate those new pieces with the rest of your wardrobe so you always have outfits that make you look and feel your best.
Devon is a co-founder of Indyx and currently leads Growth for the company from San Francisco. She enjoys admiring other people’s gardens and sleeping in with her French Bulldog, Reggie.
