How To Find Your Personal Style: 8 Ways To Explore Your Taste
For years, I was super stuck in the “next thing” trap - and, I think a lot of us are. Shopping is so ingrained as the default solution to solving any discomfort with what we wear, that obviously if you’re not happy with your style, the solution is to buy something new. I’d convince myself that if I bought THIS oversized Aritzia blazer (seen on and linked from social media, of course), it will solve all my problems and finally ‘complete’ my wardrobe.
Of course - inevitably - the honeymoon period ends with whatever particular piece and you’re back to hating your entire closet, without being anywhere closer to actually understanding why you’re feeling this discomfort.
After basically making studying my own and other’s closets my full-time job at Indyx, I now know that the discomfort lies in not truly understanding yourself and how you want to express that in clothes. In other words, from not understanding your personal style. You’re following trends or what other people tell you is “timeless”, but neither of which reflects how you really want to feel in clothing.
It’s easy to say, and much harder to do: just figure out your personal style!
And I’ll be very honest that it’s not something you figure out in a single day, week, or year. I can’t stand before you and say that I’ve even got mine 100% nailed yet. But that’s kind of the point. It’s a journey, not a destination. It’ll never be completely “done” - and that's exactly the pleasure in it.
That being said…I do think you can make a lot of progress towards understanding your style in a relatively short amount of time, and it’s all about tuning into your unique tastes and desires. So, I’ll share a few exercises I’ve found helpful in tuning into mine. Hint: it’s almost 100% about self-interrogation, so buckle up!
Look at the outfits you already wear and love
Resist the urge to run out and look to external solutions! It’s just another variation of the next thing trap. Really, truly the best place to start is in what you already wear on the regular.
You can do this by stepping into your closet (or, digital closet!) and just look at the pieces you wear often. But IMO an even better way to visualize this is to take daily outfit selfies. Yes, even when you aren’t really getting “dressed”. One of my favorite gurus, Amy Smilovic advises to find a pose that makes you feel relatively cool rather than cringe and repeat. It doesn’t need to be rocket science, but just take a moment to figure it out. I personally like to hold my phone right in front of my face so that I’m not self-critical about my expression and I can just focus on the outfit.
And even better: you can now record these outfit selfies all in one place in the Indyx app with our calendar feature! It makes it super easy to look back and see your patterns.
A few questions you might ask yourself about your past outfits:
When did I feel most like myself? Why
When did I hate the outfit I was wearing? Why?
When did I *think* the outfit would make me feel good/stylish/powerful/etc., but didn't? Why?
Do I re-wear certain items, silhouettes, or color combinations a ton? Why?
Looking back on these outfits, what you find you like may be counterintuitive…or, at least run counter to the existing mental picture in your head of a “good” outfit or “good” style. Keep pulling on that thread! That’s exactly where the juiciest stuff comes from.
Unpack why you get dressed
If the only goal with getting dressed was only to not be naked, then there are lots of potential sartorial solutions to that. But if we’re feeling unhappy with throwing on any old potato sack, then our goals must be something different. That’s why it’s super important to understand what those goals and intentions are.
Heather Hurst speaks to this, particularly on her (very good) Substack. Her thoughtfulness here is a huge part of what makes her such a good stylist on Indyx. And Heather talks about this idea in terms of “values”. What are your motivations for caring about the way you get dressed? What about it actually ‘sparks joy’ in you, so to speak?
As an example, stylist Allison Borstein has described Carrie Bradshaw’s three words as daring, elaborate, and mismatched. These are the external, visible themes in what she wears. But why does she choose to wear that? Heather identifies that Carrie’s values in getting dressed might be novelty and idealism. She loves to reinvent herself through what she wears and wholeheartedly uses fashion as a tool in playing whatever part she wants to at that particular moment
I find it endlessly interesting that at Indyx, we see a split in our own user base between two opposing intentions in getting dressed: to self-express or to be perceived. And, I think that knowing which extreme you tend towards might drastically change your approach to how you ‘solve’ your personal style.
A few questions you might ask yourself to help uncover your why:
What role does my style play in my life?
What have been some of my happiest style moments? Why?
What problems in my life am I hoping to solve through personal style?
What impression am I trying to give the people around me through my style? And conversely, what impression would I hate to leave?
Understand your personal “nos”
I often say that half the battle of personal style is very clearly understanding your “no’s”, or the things you intentionally avoid.
Just from a practical point of view, the whole wide world of possibilities is very, very overwhelming. Your head will spin if everything on planet earth is in the consideration set. So, it’s totally okay to just go ahead and rule some things out…recommended, in fact!
And from a theoretical point of view, imagine your personal style as an exercise in sculpting. You keep what is core to you, but you also necessarily carve away what isn’t needed. By definition, you exclude. Half of personal style is knowing your signatures, but the other half is knowing what you just don’t touch.
So, make a list of your “no’s”! Whatever they may be. Here are mine:
Uncomfortable pants
While we’re at it, uncomfortable shoes
Beige knits
Bodysuits (it’s just an automatic, all-day wedgie!!!)
Skirts that cut at mid-calf
Polyester satin
Shirring implemented for fit reasons (vs. an integral part of the design)
Anything that doesn’t feel good on my skin
Anything meant to be “everyday” that is dry clean only
And to be clear: this list is deeply personal. Just because something is on my list, doesn’t mean it should be on yours and vice versa. Nothing is universally “out” when it comes to style.
Take note of the non-fashion things you’re drawn to
This whole thing is about understanding what makes you, you. What you like and dislike. And sometimes staying so super laser-focused on the fashion expression of that can make you overtired. Overtired and confused. And so, practice honing that gut intuition that is taste towards things that aren’t fashion.
This could happen digitally, but oftentimes it’s best if we take a breath and go touch some grass, literally and metaphorically. Go somewhere new. Read something new. Watch something new. Notice what you like and dislike about the experience. The themes, the characters, the colors and textures. Make a list, if you like. It’s that simple!
Shop without buying
The point of this is to be exposed to things that might trigger desire in you and then spend time processing those desires. Once again, you’re digging into the why.
Some questions you might ask:
Is it the thing itself, or is it what’s around it? I.e., the beautiful store, the meticulous merchandising, the gorgeous model, the creative direction of the photo, etc.
Relatedly, I like to ask: would I still want it if it was from a brand I generally dislike?
If it is the thing, what do I like about it? And, really focus on the thing itself here vs any other supposed benefits. I.e., is it the color, the texture, the shape, the story behind it, etc.
What am I imagining the thing will give me? How will my life be (presumably) better by having it?
Be assured that you absolutely can’t buy your way into personal style. I can say with certainty that whatever you happened to find that day was not THE missing piece that would have changed everything for you - and, it wasn’t a massive mistake to not buy it. The understanding you’re gaining from the exercise is so much more important.
Regularly assess and clean out your closet
This ties in with suggestion #1 of just staying really close to the things you’ve already acquired, and using those things as your first reference as to your taste.
Regularly assessing your closet gives you the opportunity to process the desires you did buy. And, it just makes the whole process of keeping a curated closet way less overwhelming if you’re doing a little bit all the time vs. building up to a LOT all at once.
So, ask the same questions as above about the things you already have! Understand why you wanted them and whether they’ve fulfilled those wishes or not. If not, what went wrong?
And, compare what you’re editing out to your “no” list. Does it align with something already on the list (and therefore, it’s not a surprise that it didn’t work out)? Or, do you need to add something new to the list?
Create an inspo board
I’ll stand firm in the assertion that the most important thing to do is look inward, but looking outward can also be a helpful exercise - but, not the only exercise in focusing your taste. I also like this one because it can feel particularly “productive” with a tangible output...which, hey, you gotta give yourself some wins.
But really, it’s just another method by which you can learn to follow your intuition (to choose images) and then use your brain to find patterns and understand why.
I really like how Kelsey Shea leverages Pinterst inspo boards not only to hone in on what she likes in general, but also uses them very tactically in a way that actually helps her get dressed in her own closet.
We walk through the entire process of building a style inspiration board step-by-step in our Style Workshop, so if this is of interest to you I highly recommend trying that out. It’s a free 8-week course, which you can sign up for in the app.
Learn more about our free (!) 8-week content series to define your style
Try to put all of this - your style - in words
Finally, one possible “culmination” to all this work might be to distill it down to a few style words. Many recommend three, because two feels two limiting but many more than that starts to lose specificity. These can start to be a guide in both how you shop and how you get dressed.
We also touch on how to think through this in the Style Workshop. And, many love our Style Quiz in the app as a starting point for language.
Our Style Quiz Is Pretty Great
(If We Do Say So Ourselves)
Learn about our in-app Style Quiz and how it can kick off your personal style journey
But of course, this is just another tool and there’s no finality to this. It’s just your best description of where you are today. At the end of the day…it’s not that serious.
If you’re looking for a tool to help define your personal style and fall back in love with your closet, our free iOS or Android app is what you’ve been searching for.
Devon is a co-founder of Indyx and currently leads Growth for the company from San Francisco. She enjoys admiring other people’s gardens and sleeping in with her French Bulldog, Reggie.
